Do you know what Generation X’s superpower is? It’s not turning into their parents. There’s nothing wrong with our parents, but we are cut from a different cloth and, in adulthood, we want to strut on our own terms without their goofy Lawrence Welk sensibilities. That’s why I declare the 1982 Pontiac Firebird the coolest car ever!
As a kid, it was easy to get excited about the Pontiac Firebird. A certain black and gold Trans Am was the most famous car in America because of a flick that was popular with kids renting VHS movies. None of us knew these cars were shells of their former selves, nor did we care because all that was needed to get the adrenaline flowing was to see one do a burnout or jump over a ravine while running away from the bumbling cops.
To a kid of this era, it could be suggested that the advent of a redesigned Firebird would be the most exciting news since the Thunderbird could be optioned with a digital dashboard. And the new Firebird has hidden headlights too? Wow, this must be the coolest car in the world! And, for a time, it was.
Early in the 1982 pool season in the Northeast, my parents had several guests from my dad’s office come over for relaxation, chatter, and food. One of them was a young lady who I believe was named Ms. Alatari. I don’t know which position she had within the company, but she was younger than my dad and his cronies. I also was told she was the owner of a brand-new Pontiac Firebird. Would she arrive in that fantastic F-body? Fingers crossed!
My wish came true. She allowed me to sit in the driver’s seat and turn on the headlights, as the design gave me the opportunity to see them pop up. As luck would have it, Ms. Alatari needed to go home for something, so it was a splendid way for me to ride shotgun and take it all in. We drove towards Chadds Ford (the map says the area is called Elam, which I’ve never heard before, but it looks like where the old Spinning Wheels skate rink was) and back. The ride was uneventful — all I remember was the wide dashboard and going over the Pennsylvania border — but I was the proverbial kid in the candy store.
I knew back then Ms. Alatari’s car was not a Trans Am, but I bet it was the Firebird S/E, which could be seen as the successor to the sophisticated Firebird Esprit. I do recall the car being somewhat of a pewter color though I don’t see such a color in the paint selection, so I will guess it was Charcoal or maybe even Autumn Maple. Another thing that I recall is the body-colored Turbo cast aluminum alloy wheels, but I also know the older I get, the more I recall things incorrectly. Could it have been a base Firebird with optional wheels? For all I know, yes.
In retrospect, the 1982 Firebird was underwhelming — the Trans Am made do with a carbureted 305, and the Firebird arguably became better-looking over the next few years while horsepower continued to climb. However, to a kid who was looking at many years until he could obtain his driver’s license, it didn’t get more exciting than a 1982 Pontiac Firebird S/E.
And that’s the lesson I wanted to teach here: Baby Boomers were a generation who set out to change the world, but they instead turned into their parents with their brown shoes. They’re the ones who lament that the kids of today won’t get to experience what Boomers experienced — things like riding bikes without helmets, attending a Foghat concert, and trying to peek into an automotive showroom while the dealership was preparing to debut the new model year.
But who’s to say those are the things that make for a complete life? They’re no different than scoring a ride in a 1982 Firebird and wasting quarters on arcade games at Space Port in the mall. I don’t think I missed a thing. And guess what? Future generations will have their own equivalent experiences without the need for someone to suggest their experiences don’t measure up.
